Calling for a Practice of Presence in our Lives
It’s easy during these days to reminisce about the good old days, when we had a different type of freedom, or it’s easy to allow the mind to wander to the future. Perhaps you are waiting for this to all be over, or fast forwarding to what the future may hold.
Your Thoughts vs. Reality
All that you experience within your own mind is not always reality per say, but your own internal narrative at that moment around what you believe to be a reality. When your mind dwells on the past or drifts to the future, it is simply a version of a story happening which unravels as your thoughts.
The varied stories can twist and turn and unfold in erratic ways which can cause us to list compare, label or list endless possibilities in our minds which can cause uneasy feelings. This can then escalate to us experiencing reactiveness, emotional fluctuations and judgement, which can trigger various stress responses in our bodies .
If we struggle to remain present, it is common for people to also re-live past experiences even in new situations, unconsciously allowing history to repeat itself. If we allow our internal narrative and story telling to run wild into the future without conscious attention, we can often imagine many scenarios that may never even materialise.
Who can help with Mindfulness?
For years I have been following a spiritual teacher called Eckhart Tolle who is the Author of a best-selling book called The Power of Now, and he states that when we experience a situation through the narrative of the mind, this can be very limiting.
This really resonated with me. Also neuroscience research and studies are constantly providing evidence on how powerful the mind can be. It can allow us to experience something in a completely different way dependent on how we perceive the situation. In fact our thoughts and stories can be so alluring and seductive, that we become captivated by them and they can do the opposite and instead, distort our view of reality.
Have you ever noticed that what may drive someone up the wall, isn’t a problem to another person? Or something that can upset one family member, we just don't understand why they took it so personally? We claim that we are wired differently – which indeed we are. We all have completely different neural pathways that have each been shaped by our own experiences and journeys in life, these experiences shape our values, our stories and our own internal narrative.
Our own internal narrative is what helps us with our thoughts, it helps us to make key decisions, it enables us to navigate through life. But Eckhart Tolle says that thinking can also keep us a small person. What he means by this is that thoughts can be very limiting, they can be judgemental, fear driven and not always routed in truth.
So now is the time to practice observing thoughts, observing mindless chatter, observing what happens when we allow our own internal narrative to run unconsciously. Do these thoughts serve you? Do they make your life better?
What are your stories that live in your mind?
If you find your own internal narrative to be at times unhelpful, it’s the moment to invest time into re-wiring some of those neural pathways. It’s time to make space for mindfulness in your life.
I found myself in the earlier days of lockdown living in fear of the future, so I decided to meditate daily based on facing my fears (a side note that our fears are very valid, and of course they will be there because we care very much about ourselves, our lives and the people around us).
It's important to own up to them, face them, address them and consider them. But know that our unconscious thoughts and fears are merely listing possibilities, and we have the ability to agree or disagree with what comes up. I found my fears to be causing anxiety, and I had no proof to back that my fears would even materialise. So then I had to ask myself - is this helpful?
This then led me to create a grounding meditation for all of us who are experiencing mental fluctuations. Perhaps you are struggling to separate your own stories from the potential truth, or you simply want to return to the present moment. Please find the link to the video on YouTube, or alternatively you can catch it here below.
Eckhart Tolle also asked a key question which has stuck with me, and that I ask myself when I am not being present with what I am doing. When my mind races ahead and spirals into thoughts that don’t make me feel good.
“How would I experience this moment differently without the internal narrative?”
For example, during these days when we are longing for human contact, longing to be outside for longer than an hour and longing to have the freedom that we may feel we previously had, is it helpful to only dwell on how it was before or how it will be in the future? How can you experience it differently without judgement on whether what you are currently doing is good or bad, better or worse, if you like it or don’t like it, etc.
Change is Constant
As human beings we need to develop awareness and acceptance that the only constant in life is change. These days are not to be compared to the lives we previously had, and unfortunately with so many plans being disrupted, most have had to let go of what they envisioned to be the near future in 2020. These days do however offer us a different experience of what we expected from life. Are you someone who is able to seek opportunities from external change and adapt?
There is no doubt that these days present challenges to all of our front-line workers who I admire and respect so much. There are so many people who are not only having to work doubly as hard, but that are also at high risk of contracting the virus because they still have work to keep everything running for the rest of us so that we can get healthcare, eat food and get our deliveries. I also realise that everyone who is staying at home is also experiencing this in a different way, and some certainly face more challenges than others, especially if you are larger families in smaller spaces, or have children to home school or elders to take care of.
But for a lot of people, there is no more daily commute, we can ponder a little longer over our morning coffee, we can wear comfortable clothes all day, we can watch the trees blowing in the wind and watch the clouds change shape outside when we take moments to glance up from our computers. There are no options outside to stop us from going to sleep at 9pm or waking up at 8am if we desire. We have more time to rest, more time to find balance, or perhaps more time to workout or learn a new skill if that’s what you are craving. There is time to video call family and friends, time to enjoy being in your home, time to enjoy living life in a simple way and taking pleasure from the smaller things. Or god forbid, time to be in stillness.
All of this can be overridden in a moment, if we allow our internal narrative to unconsciously label, react, compare, or dwell in the past or fast forward to the future.
So if I were to ask you five questions right for only you to answer, they would be this...
Belinda's 5 Magic Questions:
How can I experience the present moment in a different way if I do not compare it to the past?
How can I experience the present moment in a different way if my mind does not fast forward to the future?
When and what am I doing that helps me personally to live and be in the present moment?
If it's something not accessible to me at the moment how can I adapt it to my current situation?
What am I grateful for at this present moment in my life?
I don’t have all the answers, but I know these are questions are a reminder to myself to be mindful about how I live my life, so that I don’t spend my days living in the past or the future, which is a huge missed opportunity on the present moment.
Can Yoga Help?
In Yoga we practice bringing the mind back into the present moment time and time again by bringing our awareness to our physical body through asana, transitions and most importantly the BREATH. The hope is that we can observe our own internal narrative which is different for everyone, and we can practice also deciding which internal narrative and stories serves us, and what does not.
All you need for this is your wonderful body, some willingness and an open mind on a yoga mat. Then over time, you take all of this insight into your own inner landscape, and apply these learnings in the big wide world out there in what we call LIFE My friends.
Namaste, I love you.
Belinda
If any of this resonates with you and you want to explore movement and mindfulness more, come and wiggle on your mats with me live via Zoom at the following UK/GMT times: