The end, or the beginning?
I truly believe that change is good for us as human beings. We are complex souls and we like challenges, even if they bring hard times. It seems to be the way that we are wired and because we are such an intelligent species, ease can become boring for many. I recently decided to walk away from my full time exciting fashion corporate career, the biggest decision I’ve had to make in my adult life so far.
When arriving at this decision, I had a harsh realisation that I had spent many years wishing away months of my life, telling myself that when that work stint was over I’d be ok, when that project was over I’d be ok, when I’d finished covering that person’s sabbatical I’d be ok, when I didn’t have to do 2 people’s jobs anymore I’d be ok, until one day I woke up and realised I’d wished away my late twenties and early thirties. I would always hope that I would come out at the other side finding stillness and time for some R&R, but it never quite came. At that point I felt compelled to show myself compassion, make a change and build a life that enables me more flexibility and more balance.
My choice as a result of was to move into a freelance life working on a project basis and teaching yoga. Scary, uncertain and a risk with no guarantees. But also new mysterious and refreshing. People had their doubts, people around me were concerned that I hadn’t thought it through, but something in my gut was telling me to go for the new thing, and that I was ready, even if I wasn’t “ready”. What does being ready even mean? Financially? In your head? In your heart? I think in the end, you can’t always have all the boxes ticked when it comes to feeling ready for something big. So you have to go with what feels right according to what feels most important to you at that time.
For me, the only place I was ready was in my heart, so I went with that.
Closing the door on one chapter, and opening the door to another brings new energy and new excitement. As long as you are open and receptive to what might come your way. I had very little expectation when I quit my job, except I had the expectation to focus on myself and my needs and I expected things could be tough, bracing myself for the worst, to survive a storm, starting over and not knowing what the future holds.
It’s only been just two weeks into my new freelance life and it’s taking funny twists and turns in ways that I hadn’t expected. I am so excited to live life fully being present over the upcoming months, to savour every moment irrespective of where I am or what I’m doing, knowing that I’m focusing on my own self and development for the greater good, and so that I can somehow share it with you through warmth, compassion and creativity.
What seems like the end, can often be the beginning. It really depends on your perception of it.
A few more days in London my loves and then I’m off to Bali on the 5th November to do some soul searching and to find inspiration, and I can’t wait to update you more on what’s next and what I want to share you.
Belinda